I Must Confess - Day 3

Confession time here. Be prepared. Last night, after a fairly emotionally charged day, I snapped at my husband. I shall pause to let that sink in. And so you can stop snickering at my jaw-dropping revelation.

The juicy details are so not juicy. We were outside. I said, "Hey look, the garlic we planted is coming up."

He said nothing.

I said, "We have bugs I've never seen before. What are they?"

He said, "How would I know, I'm not a bug expert."

I said, "Can you please go get the bug spray?"

He brought it out. He watched me spray the bugs. He heard me say, 'I am unhappy there are bugs in my herb garden, especially since they are hanging around the garlic, which makes no sense.'

His most excellent come back was….wait for it, "I found my missing coffee cup."

If you read my blog, you are most likely female, so you probably don't need me to explain any further. On the off chance you aren't female (or married), I shall expound.

I was unaware that there was a missing coffee cup. I could not fathom what that had to do with the bugs. I have no ability to imagine why the coffee cup had gone missing. It's not like the coffee cup sprouted legs and ran away from home…. Or wherever he had left it sitting.

Are you wondering what this story has to do with balance? (Or anything really?) It was what I realized later that makes this story important. As I sat down to do some bible journaling, I started thinking about how quickly I have been losing my cool by the end of the day recently.

My days have been very full. Major purging and cleaning; harvest and canning season; busy in the Studio, ministry, and more. I am tired by the end of my day, which is usually not until after dinner, if then. Notice there is little on this list that doesn't involve me doing something that isn't specifically for me. Don't misunderstand - all are of value, hence them being on the list.

They aren't refreshing, re-charging, or just for my own soul & personal care though. They are for other people. I love all the things I do, and my family, but I also need a bit of time just for me. By myself. Without anyone talking to me… or asking me to find something I didn't misplace or lose… or wanting to know what is for dinner… or randomly telling me about the missing/found cup that I never knew anything about anyway, and to be totally honest, didn't care about in the least. It's not like we don't own more than ONE coffee cup!

It would be easy to blame PMS for my crappy attitude, but that doesn't work this week. The real truth is that I have allowed the busy to create a lack of balance.  Yes, I really did need to do something with all the apples and tomatoes before they spoiled. Yes it had value, and I am glad we had them, and I see the good. BUT….

Spending time just sitting and reading my bible, doing some journaling, practicing my lettering. These things fill me up. They are refreshing for my soul. They are a little down time, just for me, all by myself. Moments that create some emotional stability, so I can giveaway to others. I love the saying, 'you can't give what you don't have.' This is SO true!

I hate to tell you, but the laundry will wait for you, and no one will die if there are crumbs on the floor from dinner, left there so you can go have 10 minutes of peace. 10 minutes sounds like heaven when you have toddlers. You would think it could be increased when you have teenagers, but really it only moves to about 15 minutes, unless you are in the bathroom which is where all mom's go to hide! (Teenagers go through periods when they are really just larger versions of toddlers with better vocabularies. They are however very okay with you going to the bathroom by yourself. Thank you Jesus!)

Balance in my days comes from taking the time I need to refuel. I am less apt to snap at my family, more understanding about missing coffee cups, and generally more pleasant. I feel ready to tackle all the things again. It allows some time to gain perspective on the to-do list, clear my schedule for people over projects, and helps me use my time more efficiently. 

I encourage you to go hide in the bathroom, (take some of the chocolate you bought to hand out for Halloween), and think about something that recharges YOUR batteries. What are the little moments that bring you peace, or refreshing, or joy? Choose just one, and pursue it even if for just 5 minutes.