Little Bro

My 'little' brother recently 'accused' me of being something of an overly-dramatic person. Sadly, this is a pretty accurate accusation. I grew up in a home filled with literal drama lovers...my great-grandmother was an actress, and so on down the line.

I also grew up with loud, enthusiastic, exclamatory, filled with emotion, and, let's say 'discussions'. My whole family is loud and dramatic and filled with exaggeration of all sorts. Apples only fall from apple trees you know. Thank goodness I like apples!

My bro made this statement quite dramatically I might add, placing great emphasis on the details he didn't want me to miss. I just grinned at him, and pointed out that we are cut from familiar cloth.

I prefer to think of myself as an energetic, enthusiastic person, who really does enjoy her life & realizes her blessings. If this means that I seem a bit excited or dramatic sometimes.....well this is to be expected.

Yes, I'm loud. Yes, I can be quite emotional (rarely tears, but emotion yes). Yes, I ALWAYS over-react initially, but given about 5 minutes can calm down & look at the facts. I hate drama, don't appreciate negativity, and despise deceit.

Brother of mine I believe I will take your loving words & respond in an over-dramatic way via blog as follows:

I would rather be an overly-dramatic person in all areas, than a dull-boring person in any area. I would rather over-react than under-react. I would rather over-emphasize, than not. I would rather be over the top, than completely forgettable.

I am working on creating balance in all things. I'm growing into who I will be when I grow up. I've curbed my temper, toned down exaggerated word choices, and now try to live with just the joy of my life. I will get it wrong, make mistakes, and try again. I will sometimes be a moldy apple, filled with worms of the over-done.

I will also post this for all to see, utilize your wise advice and finally remind you that apples only fall from apple trees. I write this in your honor....because I'm the big sister & I can & there's nothing like a little bit overly-dramatic response! :D

Chocolate Pudding

I am sort of stealing part of this from a very wise youth pastor. He posted on his blog about the nature of God as our father and used an example of parenting involving chocolate pudding and his toddler. His point was that God loves us the way we love our children - what wouldn't we do or provide for our children, just so they will smile, giggle, be happy. We do it because we love them, not because they deserve it. Ditto with God.

What I walked away with was that I needed to remind myself that God loves to watch us smile, and would love to spoil us with chocolate pudding. As the parent of a teenager, I know something this youth pastor will learn as the years go by....sometimes we don't give our kids chocolate pudding even if it makes them smile, because it can also make them sick and hyper.

So as I started praying through I realized that we were both right. God has a desire to spoil us with chocolate pudding to watch us smile, but sometimes we only get a spoonful, not the whole container. Sometimes He reserves the chocolate pudding because He knows it's not the healthiest choice for us in the moment.

Remember the Mary Poppins song, "A Spoon-full of Sugar"? She tells the kids that a spoon full of sugar makes medicine go down much easier. Maybe sometimes we get a spoon full of chocolate pudding to get through the hard life lessons. Maybe sometimes we get the whole cup of chocolate pudding as a treat, just to make us smile. It still has nothing to do with deserving it, but simply to do with God's nature as a loving father. It's grace in its simplest form.

Isn't that the whole point really? We have this goal of teaching our children, disciplining them, training them, filling them with love. All of these to help them grow into the people that God intends them to be. We weigh through the options, the fruits & veggies, the treats, the giggles, the scoldings. We do it all simply because we love them and want the best for them. This is what God's goal is too, right? To help us become all He intended us to be?

I will thank Him every day for the cups of chocolate pudding, the spoon fulls, AND the days filled with only good food, no treats. I will focus on His grace and loving nature. I will remember that He is shaping me into the person He needs and wants me to be. I will have the faith, though sometimes small as a speck of dust, to trust in His plan, His time, His ways. I will struggle, argue, rebel, get put in time out, lose dessert, and always know that He still loves me because He is my daddy.

He wants the best for me, so how could I possible go wrong resting in that?

2013

It's officially 2013....and I've written 2012 a few times. This is a bit of a problem when you're doing important things like bills!!

I find that I have so much to say, about so many things, that I have no place to start. A fresh year, a fresh outlook, a fresh adventure.

I'm in awe, undone, overwhelmed. I'm hopeful, anxious, excited, motivated. I'm choosing to walk & enjoy, not run & miss something. I've chosen to walk through open doors praying that God bless every step.

I know myself well enough to know that if I'm not careful & intentional, I will start to run. I will race through & miss the process. I will analyze & think & plan & ruin the journey.

All that I love about the new year wars with all that I hate. Fresh adventures come on the heels of stale misadventures. Clean slates come at the expense of acknowledged mistakes. New stories come with the remnants of scars.

2013 I've been expecting you! God has opened doors that I've been waiting to see open for so long! Now, He will give me the courage, faith, opportunity & help to walk through into all that He called me to so long ago. My goal? To walk, not run. To pray, not fret. To embrace, not fear. To be all that He called me to be. To not get distracted, dissuaded, discouraged.