Surprising News

Just one week ago, I sat and shared that as of tomorrow, December 15th, we were going to be taking a break from the Studio, as we prepared to share NEW things in January. Men plan - God directs...and as we all know...does what He thinks is best despite our opinions!

This week we had some surprising news and wanted to share......

Baby Hazer - due summer 2019

We are a bit startled by this new development to say the least! If you don't know us, or haven't been following me for long, here is some info - my daughter will be 20 in just 2 months. It was a struggle for her dad & I to become pregnant. In the 20 years since, I have only had 2 other pregnancies, both ending in miscarriages. In fact, when Clark and I got married 7 years ago, I told him that if he planned on having bio-kids, I was not the person to be with! And yet here we are.

God obviously has a plan that He is just now choosing to share with us. SO, the next few weeks will be spent doing some re-figuring and re-working of the game plan for 2019. BUT, virtually every single thing we were working on can & will still move forward exactly as planned. Just maybe a little bit slower than planned.

I feel really good, just a little tired and a lot hungry! As planned, we'll announce all our other NEW stuff at the beginning of January.

In the meantime -

Merry Christmas from the Hazers!!

Ready for 2019?

December snuck right up on me this year! Our house is decorated, our menu is planned, and I am looking forward to a 'long winter's nap'. 💛 We still have some shopping and wrapping to do, so the nap will wait a bit. 

Honestly y'all it has been crazy - in good ways, God ways, and everything in between!! We sold out of things we never even bothered to remind people we had. We had special orders that kept us hopping, and with two businesses providing us with shelf space... well, you get the idea!

There will be an 'official' vacation announcement soon, but until then - we are closing our Studio doors from December 15th - January 2nd. We will reopen on January 3rd with a new look, a new feel, and so many other 'new' things! We are still struggling through our website decision, so thank you everyone for your patience!! It has been a blessing!!

You read correctly - NEW! God has opened doors, answered prayers, made ways, and provided some really great clarity for me, and for my family. Since I'm not usually one to follow along, but rather blaze the trail, of course this season will be no different.

We are gearing up for trail-blazing, different, fun, and of course, encouraging YOU to find beauty in the everyday. While our creative doors are closed, our holiday spirit will go into full force! Be sure to follow along on Facebook & Instagram as I share recipes, tips, and holiday joy! PLUS, our new kitchen sink and cabinet will be installed just after Christmas, so you won't want to miss those pictures!

Here are a few before:

Sink needs some work!

Base cabinet is metal. It is in really rough shape, leading to a FB
poll to see if we should keep it.

I can't wait to fill you all in!! 

Changes & Challenges

October is here! Pumpkins are decorating the porch which is all the farther I got this year. My foot has finally healed up enough that I can get busy doing all the things I couldn't for 8 weeks!

As this year has progressed, I've faced a number of changes and challenges in my world. One of my very dearest friends went through an extremely challenging season in her life.  One of my other friends experienced a life "overhaul" if you will, including moving.

It was a weird growing season in the Midwest. Spring forgot to come, rain came in sheets, and we currently have snow, flooding, and a lack of forward progress on harvesting.

My broken foot created havoc here at home....stairs abound in my world. I, being myself, pushed harder initially than I should have, which slowed the last few weeks down a bit.

On a personal level, growth came in bands of struggle, running, healing, and confusion. You know that place where you know what you know, but don't really like what you know? So you just sit in defiance to moving in truth because what you know is uncomfortable.

In the midst of all this 'stuff' I have learned a few things that I realize create a new challenge to how I do life.

Everything from our website, to this blog, to social media, to my focus must radically shift. Time away from each of my favorite things, has helped me to reconnect with who I am, what I want my life to be, and what I've been called to do.

Our website has been taken down, so I can rediscover more of a guest room feel, versus just commerce. Our home is once again being purged of the unnecessary. Coffee with friends is once again a primary focus. Church is smaller and more meaningful. Striving must take a back seat to living.

If this all sounds rather cryptic, stay tuned. As the weeks unfold, less cryptic and more practical will be coming!!!

Grounded By God

How can August already be here? It seems as if the summer has flown by this year!

The garden struggled for a little bit, mostly due to the lack of spring arriving in the Midwest. We went straight from snow to 95 degrees in a matter of 48 hours. Then it would not stop raining. Now in August we have seemingly spring/early summer weather. Talk about confusing the plants!

I have been running to keep up with everything that has been going on in life. Honestly, there was some running from God too. 

See, a pile of months ago, God began speaking to me about a few things. Things He wanted me to do. I was willing, but hesitant in a few of these areas. I had some concerns you see. So, I told Him, and I sat back to wait for clarity, confirmation, and boldness.

When some of these requests seemed to go unheard, I realized I probably just needed to move forward. I did not really want to. So I went with the busy to make sure I was properly distracted and consumed of course.

This week, God ended all that running. I broke my foot. I have been grounded. By God. I found it humorous and ironic and ridiculous. 

So, I sat. I rested. I ate, I napped, I got up and I got some stuff done. Then He spoke loudly. This was part of His best plan for me. I can not drive away, run away, or even walk away. I can hobble. I can use my smart-phone. I can accomplish some things, but not others. I can study and pray and think and plan. 

I do not usually over-spiritualize things. Sometimes flat tires are just flat tires. They don't fit into the schemes of the devil or Gods plan. We live in a fallen world, filled with nails that puncture tires. 

This time however, God clearly spoke that this was part of the plan. He didn't break my foot, but He knew it was going to happen, and He let it, and He intended it be useful for what He wants accomplished.

The day after I broke my foot, I found a flaw in my computer charger - the cable snapped. It would not work for anything. This was even more humorous as part of God's direction and path for me requires my computer. So I sat some more. Then I found the tape, attempted a fix, and hoped for the best. Today is the first day I have been able to get it to work as it should. 

So here I am. Blogging about how God can and will use any set of circumstances He wants to accomplish His plan. It may seem funny, or annoying, or even painful to us in the moment. BUT, if we can roll with it (or even just hobble with it!), it can be one of the coolest things we experience! 

I may not be enjoying some of the required rest and caution....especially since the garden is busy being useful finally...but I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am refocusing and not running and not arguing.  

Mother's Day & Miracles

Mother's Day is literally just a few days away and I am tickled!! Exactly one year ago, on Mother's Day, my life changed.

16 years ago, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I spent years in and out of the doctor's office, fighting all kinds of battles on top of it. Breast cancer concerns and surgery, skin cancer scares, a lymphatic system that doesn’t look right…or work right. The doctors invited me back to see them so many times, I wished I was a hypochondriac. It would have been preferable.

Each year, my illness progressed a little more, and then a little more, and finally pushed me into bed 75% of the time. It just plain old sucked. Anyone who suffers from an 'invisible illness' knows how isolating, exhausting, and tedious it can be.

Me, being myself of course, just sucked it up, and moved through as though life was fine. So many reasons are attached to that. That should be a blog post of its own. Anywho, eventually I could no longer just move through life, and the impact was great. So great that I was finally at the point where I was willing to try all the useless medicine they were willing to prescribe.

While Fibro may have medicine that helps, CFS not so much. It only recently started getting the air time it needs to solve the problem. It is a wicked illness that needs be funded and researched and dealt with.

So, last year, I was at the lowest point of my life. I no longer could move through. I could no longer say to God I was okay walking through life according to His plan. In fact, I told Him the truth - His plan sucked. It was stupid, and I hated it. I was tired. I was sick and tired. And I was sick and tired of fighting battles. I was tired of people. I was in horrible pain, and spent hours just trying not to cry.

I told God that either He FINALLY heal me here on earth, or He was going to heal me in heaven. I no longer cared which, I just wanted healing. And I told Him to get on it….ASAP! I wish I could also tell you I was depressed, but who has time for such nonsense when you are in that much pain? And for the record, depression is no joke. It can be equally debilitating. But it is a separate issue - I wasn’t depressed, I was fed up and pissed. (Yes, sometimes followers of Jesus say bad words, we are human, and there aren't always 'christian' words that fit!)

Mother's Day rolled around, and I had the worst CFS spell of my journey. I passed out, and woke up with amnesia. Cool huh? My memory did come back mostly within a few days, and then slowly continued. At the same time, we all noticed a difference in the rest of my health. I was seemingly healthy.

 I had energy. I had stamina. I was eating, no headaches, no nausea, no insomnia, no pain. Just a 'normal' person. My lymphatic system began working correctly, and lymph nodes started shrinking to normal size. Within a month I started painting the exterior of my house. I planted a whole garden. I launched into some amazing things in the Studio. I could do ALL the things!

A year later….I am fine. I am healthy. (Perimenopause and allergies did remain unfortunately.) God miraculously healed me. Finally. After 15 years of trying all the things. He didn't just heal me physically though. He did some major heart repair as well. He opened my eyes to my identity in Him - I became the 'vintage God girl'. I got rid of over half the stuff in my home. I cleaned up a ton of messes. My home is now exactly what I always dreamed it would be.

My home, my world, my self, all underwent a major overhaul. It feels so good!!! This week, it struck me though how amazing it really has been.

I've been pretty wiped out this week. I had a moment of concern, but then realized that when you are working 12 hour days, 8 or so of those outdoors in sun and wind, and then adding in all the rest of life, 'normal' people get tired. I am just a normal, tired person. It feels amazing!! After so many years of having to limit my life, I have probably taken on way more than I should. But to live life, and be able to do ALL the things, feels so good. I hate the thought of missing even one moment of life now.

Do you know what else I realized? That if this Mother's Day comes, and suddenly it were to all end, I would be okay. It wasn't ever about the house, or the doing, or the belief. It was about the opportunities I had this year. My heart is content, with whatever I am asked to walk through, because I didn't waste one second of the precious gift of healing God sent. I made every single second count for something. I loved people more fully than I ever have before. I shared my heart and my time and my joy. I shared my blessings with everyone. I gave away everything I could, and God provided enough for my family still.

I moved in the Spirit, ditched the planner, learned who I was. I made amazing new friends, shared heartaches with long-time friends, prayed with those who felt left out. I found the truest form of joy, and despite all the rocky things that life still brings, I was okay. Is there any better gift to have received?

So often when we hear about miracles, we secretly wish them for ourselves. We feel a small pang of jealousy. We want to know the secret to having them in our lives. I have come to believe that the secret is this - God does what He wants, when He wants. We get to choose what we see and how we react. It is entirely on Him to do what is best. If He would have healed me years ago, when I originally asked, would He have received as great a thanks from me? Would it have had such a tremendous impact on my life? Would it even have seemed miraculous?

I learned that there so many miracles every single day. Sometimes we overlook them. We don't see them for the miracles they really are. We plant what look like dead little seeds into the ground, water them, and wait. Miraculously they grow! One little seed grows a whole plant. A tomato seed is tiny, but it grows a plant, and then stuff to eat!! That is just awesome isn't it? The seasons never fail to show up…sometimes they get confused about when they are supposed to arrive, but they always get here.

Modern medicine is even a miracle. Back in the day they used poison for beauty, narcotics for everything, and couldn't save limbs, or sight, or life. Now, we can see, don't poison ourselves just to look pretty, have prosthetics, and can live through all kinds of illness.

This year for Mother's Day I asked my family for one thing - a day of rest, relaxation, and celebration of all that God has done. An opportunity to celebrate with gratefulness, and thankfulness, and awe of a God who works everything out in our lives for our ultimate good, and for His ultimate glory.

I probably should add one more little detail. This marks the 19th year I get to celebrate being a mom. God miraculously and graciously allowed me to have a child to keep. While my daughter has some siblings in heaven, she remained here. It has been a joy getting to watch her grow, and a privilege to be a mom 'in real life'. To all the mom's who must celebrate as their little ones are in heaven, hanging out with their daddy there - the biggest of hugs to you!! It never gets easier, it just gets different. 

The Five-Hundredth Day of Winter

Hey y'all!!! Did you miss me?

If you follow me on social media, you will know that I have been busy redoing every room in my house!!! Furniture has been remade, moved, donated, replaced, refurbished, and so on. Walls, floors and cabinets have been repainted, and there is still one whole entryway plus hallway that I have not yet painted....because I was tired of painting!

I also swapped my guest room & Studio around, which has meant the hugest de-stash I've ever done! It really wasn't that hard once I got started.

The other issue around here has been the never ending winter. I swear we are on day 500 of winter in the Midwest. Go visit FB and you will see meme's popping up all over from the Midwest for this very reason. It is supposed to be 'April showers bring May flowers'. Do you see the words April snow anywhere?

Today severe thunderstorms, which will give way to measurable snow fall. Our farmers are not happy, as they can not plant yet. We are not happy because we can not do anything outdoors either.

500 days of winter has had me thinking though. A few months back I was talking to a friend about the notion of seasons, and how we are so quick to talk about the season of life we're in. You know, marriage, parenting, parenting teens, trying to remember life without kids. Sorry, got off track for a minute as my 'kid' is now an adult, who is currently sharing her thoughts about how hard being an adult is...while she lives with me and does not do the grocery shopping. Sigh...

Anywho, my belief was that we possibly take the seasons thing too far. It's as if we give ourselves permission to stay in any given season until by some miraculous thunder clap (the heavens literally just clapped here), we will 'grow out of it'. Her belief is that seasons of life are completely biblical and until God does provide the thunder, you just stay there.

500 days into winter I see her point so much more clearly. However, I am SO over winter. This next round of freezing could literally take out ALL my fruit trees, my flowers, and just about destroy our chances at growing much. This is one of those times where I would personally like to plow (see what I did there in light of the snow coming?) through and just move into another season of life.

Currently my family is experiencing a season of questions. Actually, I am really the only one, unless you count the mini-me living here. God opened so many doors. He has done so many awesome things! He is still doing so many awesome things...so which way do I start walking? 500 days of choices, 500 days of steps, 500 days of thinking, praying, questioning, thanking, choosing, and so much more.

If I had joined the whole count your steps movement, I would be jumping up and down over how many I have taken. I would not be as enthusiastic to realize that for every step, there were six more super options just up ahead.

My 'OLW' was BLOOM...which you can NOT do in the winter. Spring will eventually arrive and so will some answers. In the meantime, I will keep taking steps, thanking God that I can, and being enthusiastic to see what lies ahead!!!