I Must Confess - Day 3

Confession time here. Be prepared. Last night, after a fairly emotionally charged day, I snapped at my husband. I shall pause to let that sink in. And so you can stop snickering at my jaw-dropping revelation.

The juicy details are so not juicy. We were outside. I said, "Hey look, the garlic we planted is coming up."

He said nothing.

I said, "We have bugs I've never seen before. What are they?"

He said, "How would I know, I'm not a bug expert."

I said, "Can you please go get the bug spray?"

He brought it out. He watched me spray the bugs. He heard me say, 'I am unhappy there are bugs in my herb garden, especially since they are hanging around the garlic, which makes no sense.'

His most excellent come back was….wait for it, "I found my missing coffee cup."

If you read my blog, you are most likely female, so you probably don't need me to explain any further. On the off chance you aren't female (or married), I shall expound.

I was unaware that there was a missing coffee cup. I could not fathom what that had to do with the bugs. I have no ability to imagine why the coffee cup had gone missing. It's not like the coffee cup sprouted legs and ran away from home…. Or wherever he had left it sitting.

Are you wondering what this story has to do with balance? (Or anything really?) It was what I realized later that makes this story important. As I sat down to do some bible journaling, I started thinking about how quickly I have been losing my cool by the end of the day recently.

My days have been very full. Major purging and cleaning; harvest and canning season; busy in the Studio, ministry, and more. I am tired by the end of my day, which is usually not until after dinner, if then. Notice there is little on this list that doesn't involve me doing something that isn't specifically for me. Don't misunderstand - all are of value, hence them being on the list.

They aren't refreshing, re-charging, or just for my own soul & personal care though. They are for other people. I love all the things I do, and my family, but I also need a bit of time just for me. By myself. Without anyone talking to me… or asking me to find something I didn't misplace or lose… or wanting to know what is for dinner… or randomly telling me about the missing/found cup that I never knew anything about anyway, and to be totally honest, didn't care about in the least. It's not like we don't own more than ONE coffee cup!

It would be easy to blame PMS for my crappy attitude, but that doesn't work this week. The real truth is that I have allowed the busy to create a lack of balance.  Yes, I really did need to do something with all the apples and tomatoes before they spoiled. Yes it had value, and I am glad we had them, and I see the good. BUT….

Spending time just sitting and reading my bible, doing some journaling, practicing my lettering. These things fill me up. They are refreshing for my soul. They are a little down time, just for me, all by myself. Moments that create some emotional stability, so I can giveaway to others. I love the saying, 'you can't give what you don't have.' This is SO true!

I hate to tell you, but the laundry will wait for you, and no one will die if there are crumbs on the floor from dinner, left there so you can go have 10 minutes of peace. 10 minutes sounds like heaven when you have toddlers. You would think it could be increased when you have teenagers, but really it only moves to about 15 minutes, unless you are in the bathroom which is where all mom's go to hide! (Teenagers go through periods when they are really just larger versions of toddlers with better vocabularies. They are however very okay with you going to the bathroom by yourself. Thank you Jesus!)

Balance in my days comes from taking the time I need to refuel. I am less apt to snap at my family, more understanding about missing coffee cups, and generally more pleasant. I feel ready to tackle all the things again. It allows some time to gain perspective on the to-do list, clear my schedule for people over projects, and helps me use my time more efficiently. 

I encourage you to go hide in the bathroom, (take some of the chocolate you bought to hand out for Halloween), and think about something that recharges YOUR batteries. What are the little moments that bring you peace, or refreshing, or joy? Choose just one, and pursue it even if for just 5 minutes.  

Day 2 - Comparison

There is a popular meme floating around Instagram right now that says, "I will not compare myself to other's on IG."

We are all guilty of doing it though. I'm sure you're wondering what comparison has to do with balance right? EVERYTHING!

When I was an expectant mom it was birthing stories that were compared. Then as a young mom, it was parenting experiences. Then as a homeschooling mom, a wife, a daughter, a female..... the list is endless.

I discovered, much later than I wish, that my life was being lived based on comparison. Experiences with God, faith, parenting, even my height! I'm short, and on the smaller side. Boy can other women be cruel. Like I had any say in my height or appearance or metabolism. Anyway.....

Spending my time watching everyone else inevitability led to some pretty big insecurities in my world. I've never really been one to care what other's thought, but it would be nice if they thought nice things. SO, I felt compelled to create a life that looked like what someone else may also want. That way, when the comparison game started, I at least wouldn't be the one person no one else wanted to be.

To be fair, I had some other, larger, more pressing, issues that also led to some of these comparisons and insecurities. I'll save that for another day.

Most recently comparison reared it's head in IG land, and obviously I'm not alone. I can guarantee you Pinterest would either beat IG or come in a super close second! We scroll through picture after picture of awesomeness. Then we look at what we have created, or decorated, or lettered, or journaled, or whatever, and we wish we were better.

Balance in life though begins when we stop comparing ourselves, our gifts, and our lives, to those we see around us...and definitely those on social media. Comparison ultimately leads to being busier than necessary, or feeling less than, simply because.

I have a friend who shared that watching my IG posts made other people feel exactly this way! Each day I would share pictures of all the things I was doing and making. And since we're in harvest season, the making and canning is abundant.

I felt bad for a little while. I truly did not intend any harm. Here again though, comparison came to be. While I may not alter my photo's for IG, or stage things for that perfect picture, my life had some how appeared to be too good, and led to other's feeling bad. Comparison.

My life will quickly spiral out of control if I run around trying to decorate my home like some of the people I follow on IG, or spend all day trying to letter as well as people who do it as their full-time income, and again on goes the list.

I will choose today to be content with my gifts, my skills, and my life. This will bring some balance into my life, as I focus on what is in front of me, for my hands to do. At the very least I won't feel like a crazy person!!!

The Struggle To Juggle - 31 Days of Balance

I am so excited to be participating in this year's Write 31 Days Challenge!! For the next 31 days, I'll be blogging every day, about the struggle we all face to juggle our dreams, family, jobs, health, hobbies, harvest season, ministry and so much more! 

If you are meeting me for the first time, I'm Kim, the Vintage God Girl. Not only do I absolutely adore antiques and vintage everything, I love the meaning of vintage - unique, created during a specific season, special. I believe this description fits all of God's beautiful, amazing daughters (and sons). 

I have one child, a daughter, who just graduated high school. This means I am no longer a homeschooling mom! One less thing to juggle this fall.

My husband is a pretty cool guy. He is a mechanic, which means that all the lights in my car are on, and we 'just don't worry about it." We just celebrated our 6 year anniversary in September. We live a small town in the Midwest, surrounding by corn and bean fields, in a vintage house, filled with vintage and antique things.

Actually, the theme for this month of posts, was my husband's idea. The title was his idea too!! I work from home as an artist, creating all the things. I teach classes on herbs and aromatherapy, as well as bible journaling. I help manage my father's event center, and am active in ministry. As you can tell, balance is a big deal in my world, especially since we are in the middle of garden harvest season.

So follow along, as we walk through all the things together! From lessons I've learned already, to some I am currently learning. I'll be sharing some tips on creating some space in your home and heart, making balancing all the things a little bit easier! 

You can follow along on IG at #write31days!

Day 1 - You're Here!!
Day 2 - Comparison
Day 3 - I Must Confess