Here I am!! After a
surprising start to our 2019, I chose to focus on my 'OLW' or one little word,
'DELIGHT'. In true life-like fashion, the best laid plans, of mice and men,
came to a halt.
The 'new' plan was
much less delightful than anyone could predict, imagine or quite honestly, cope
with. My 1st trimester of pregnancy ended with my mom beginning to have some
difficulties physically. By my 3rd trimester, we learned that my mom had very little
time left with us. She passed away as June came to a close, and our son was
born as July was just beginning.
As these two things
intersected so closely, my husband and I were very, very blessed to have some
amazing friends surround us with prayer, support, meals, comfort, and so much
love. At the same time, every single plan for our year and my business, flew right
out the window.
Not only did we have
some, let's call them intriguing, situations within my pregnancy, we also knew
that the time we had with my mom was all the time we had. I had gained enough
weight that the garden wasn't a viable option, and I wouldn’t have been able to
harvest it anyway. I was drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. So I
let slide my 'job', in favor of my family.
While there is
absolutely no regret for decisions that were made, in putting my family first,
my creativity is one of the things that fill me with joy, acts as a healing
balm, and of course is the heart of my business. With less time to devote to
it, and not much positive inspiration for it, there was less refilling of my
spirit as well.
Now, as we are in
the middle of October, with a year that is more blur than reality, I am
discovering a new normal. Life with an infant, which I never thought I would be
blessed to experience again. Life without a mom to call every time he does
something I've either forgotten babies do, or something I'm excited he's done
for the 1st time.
Business, even when
working from home, must look different. Time looks different. Night's filled
with less sleep, days filled with chores, and the most adorable baby, whose
life I want to take in so completely, make little time for long projects.
Blogging also fell
to the side. To sit down and pen anything in the midst of grief, confusion,
busy, etc… seemed to suck more time and energy. Honestly, no one would've
wanted to read anything I was thinking anyway. Grief and the chaos that
surrounds preparing for death and life at the same time, have a way of muddling
an already overdone pregnant women's brain. Emotions would have been high
anyway (thank you pregnancy hormones!).
Our little 3 1/2 old
bundle of energy is growing every day. Our 20 year old is learning adulting in
new ways. My hormones have almost adjusted back to normal, or at least what a
normal 3 month post-partum normal is. In fact, the little one just woke up and I'm trying to convince him to sit here
with me while I finish up this post…that I've been working on for 3 days, since
we are simultaneously teething and going through a growth spurt and closing up
my mom's Fiber Shop.
So here I am.
Adjusting, adapting, trusting in a plan that is definitely not my own. Now if
you will excuse me, there is a diaper calling my name and then we are off to
put some of last year's frozen veggies through the food processor so baby will
have new things to try!
